Slightly Renewed

Today I was reminded why certain people have been put into my life.  When asked for a favor, they did not hesitate one bit.  A couple of these people I have not spoken to in at least six years.  I am reminded of the good within people.  That there are people out there that really do want to help.

Over the last year, I have been able to find a little inner peace. This comes from seeing people and the roles that they have in my life.  I have learned that if someone does not bring a ounce of happiness to my life, that I have little time for them.  Why continue to be with people when it is difficult, uncomfortable, or impersonal.  When someone continues to bring misery, conflict, and complications, I am choosing to stay away.  Life is too short to be miserable. 

I love it when Oprah says (yes I love her) "Believe people when the continue to show you who they are."  When they are unreliable, unresponsive, or miserable, they are showing me how much they care for me and our relationship.  When someone cares, brings laughter to my world, and is supportive, I believe them for who they are.  And today, I had five people show me who they were - my true friends, my support. 

Looking for direction

I am going to apologize for this post in advance.  I'm going to have a little pity party.  As I sit here on July 5, I can honesty say that I do not know what the next couple of months hold for me.  I have goals but I am lacking the courage, desire, will power, and ability to put them into action. 

Let's start with the obvious.  I am not working.  It is time for me to go back to work. (that is part two)I would like to say that employers are knocking down my door with job offers but that is not the truth.  I would like to find a job in health care but am having difficulties.  I don't want to do what I went to school for.  I am done with the nursing home scene.  I want to be a nurse (part two again).  Problem with the job hunt is what am I hunting for.  Something long-term?  Give up on the nursing idea?  Something short term until I get into the nursing program?  Something that I can do while I go to nursing school.

And lets talk about nursing school.  Do I try to apply for a BSN program?  Take more classes to go towards that.  Or do I just take this semester and retake a couple classes to get the "A" instead of the "B" that I have?  And reapply for the associate program? So if I sign up for classes, do I take classes during the day while the girls are at school and prevent myself from working.  Do I take night classes while I try to pursue a job during the day. 

I'm not looking for answers, just some understanding.  If you see me on the verge of tears, this is why.  I just need to know where my next step is.  I am waiting to see the way.  Until then, I will continue to apply for jobs, all kids.